www.WhoNeedsPants.com
Proudly Presents....
Greg Bauer's Space on the Sand
(A Virtual Blueprint to a Life's Worth of Endeavors)
HELLO! : Welcome to my home on the web. As you might notice, I've done a little revamping around here. This page was in dire need of a makeover and I was more than happy to provide it a Swan-style overhaul. Most of the same stuff you could find on my old page are once again included here. In addition, I've fixed up some broken links and cleaned out other dusty corners. Hey, gimme a break, I'm trying to look a little professional here!
Contact: GregBauer@whoneedspants.com
A Look At My Vitals:
Name: Gregory William Bauer
Birthdate: 7-31-82
Residency: Santa Monica, CA (Basically in Los Angeles)
Hobbies: Pinball, Guitar, Playing/Watching/Following Basketball (especially the NBA), Long drives around L.A., Socializing, Poker. Trying to be funny...
Favorite Bands: G. Love and Special Sauce, Blind Melon, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Counting Crows, Stroke 9, Weezer, Sublime, Dave Matthews, The Beach Boys, Long Beach Dub All-Stars, and various other rock/pop/alternative bands and songs.
Occupations: Top Notch Cat Juggler, Anorexic Sumo Wrestler, Maker of Imploding Underpants, and bartending professional extraordinaire at Chez Melange, in Redondo Beach
Career Development:
As you might know, I recently graduated from UCLA with a degree in Anthropology. So what does this mean? It means it's time to hit the real world running. Trust me, I've heard this real world thing ain't pretty, but it looks like there aren't many alternatives (I don't have the right wardrobe to become a bum and the circus already past through 2 months ago).
My efforts now are to blaze a ground-scorching path towards success...
One sentiment continually comes to mind:
"Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
Ok, Let's start with the basics....
If I could give myself any position, I believe I would entitle it: "Director of Creative Operations"
That's a good beginning.
I realize this sounds a little ambitious for an entry-level slob like myself, but I figure it's something to eventually shoot for. For now, maybe more apt titles would be things like "Assistant Director of Creative Operations," "Vice-Assistant Director of Creative Operations," "Insignificant Underling of Creative Operations" or simply "The Slobbery Rim of a Baboon's Spitoon."
Essentially, any helping handful of pennies would be one for the win column.
Sometimes It's Just Destiny.....
One morning a few short months ago I awoke to a mind-blowing experience....out of nowhere THEY had appeared in my backyard....To this day I have no explanation as to where THEY might have come from. In fact, since that singular istant when I first laid eyes upon THEM I have been bombarded by an unending proponderance of cosmologically unanswerable questions. Maybe you can figure out what it all means....Just cilck HERE.
The Working Man's Toils:
I have only held a few jobs in my lifetime. Once I find a place where I enjoy my work, my pay, and the company of my co-workers I can't help but feel a sense of commitment and investment in the success of our endeavors.
Chez Melange in Redondo Beach (August 2004-Present)
Trained Bartender
http://www.chezmelange.com/After training with the National Bartenders School I began working at this first-class restaurant tucked away in the Riviera of Redondo Beach. Of all the bartending jobs in the world, I can't imagine working anywhere but here. My job is essentially to throw a party every night I'm working; can't complain about that. The clientele is mainly composed of older couples and the like, which I love because each of them offers a little bit of inspiration in helping set my course in this world.
Paul Holman - Media Visionary!!! (June 2004/Part-time on and off)
Personal Assistant/Protoge
http://www.paulholman.org/As sort of a creative side project, from time to time I help out Mr. Holman organize media events involving laser shows, effects lighting, and large scale visual projections. Located in Venice Beach, most of the time we work out of his home editing video, organizing his work space, and planning for future events. Hopefully I will get some of our stuff up here soon...For now though, I suggest you check out his website site above to get a little glimpse into what it is Paul does.
The Original Pancake House (July 1998-April 2004)
Trained Server/HostI have spent the better part of my working life as a part of this amazing franchise. Located in Redondo Beach, California, my job at the O.P.H. (NOTE: This is not an IHOP!!) lasted from when I turned 16 in high school on through most of my college career. While at UCLA, I attended school Monday thru Fridays, coming home on weekends to work as a server in the morning. The tips were good, the environment was intense but fun, and my co-workers more or less became my second family.
Field Dynamics Marketing Research (8 Beautiful Days in April)
Market Researcher/Beer Taste TesterAs I was searching Craigslist.com one day for temporary employment, I came across an ad in search of beer taste testers. At first I thought the whole thing was a joke, but after sending in a silly cover letter I got notified that I had been chosen to participate in the marketing study. So, for 8 days straight I was blessed with the opportunity to drink a beer, give my opinion, and get paid $33 dollars a brew. Such a shame that gravy train ended.
The Music Man:
There is a certain part of me that has to admit that the one thing I probably do better than anything else is play the guitar. For those of you who have known me for a long time, I was sort of a "one hit wonder" at the age of 16 with such classic hits as "My Monkey Kingdom," "Mi Oso Circo (My Circus Bear)," and "I Love You Mr. Bob Saget." When college hit, I started concentrating my efforts into learning more about guitar improvisation, rhythmic jamming, and just technical knowledge in general. Nowadays I still play for fun..the music has slowly started becoming more "visual" to me....there is a certain power that just encapsulates me when I'm in the zone. Hard to understand, but even harder to describe.
I have a few songs and jams up on the internet...they're in dire need of updating as well, but I suppose that comes down to simply recording more.
For now though, you can find a few songs HERE.
Most of these jams were done with my friend Y on lead guitar and me on rhythm. Currently, I am playing a lot with my friend Ben Draper, who plays some wonderful accompaniment on tenor and alto saxophone. We're hoping to hit up some open mic nights at bars and coffeeshops in the coming weeks. Very good chill out music; dig it.
Hot Links and Mustard:
Below are a few links to webpages I am associated with. Some are random things I have created and some are simply links to things my friends have done. Enjoy!
- This page is one of my most popular creations. It's basically a database of names with double-meanings. Included in this would be such legends as "Seymor Butts," "Mike Hunt," and "Jacques Strapp." You get the idea....enjoy.
- The Los Angeles Clippers are the quintessence of the word "underdog." At the beginning of every NBA season Clippers fans across the city can be heard declaring that "This is the year for the Clippers!" Unfortunately, they haven't made the playoffs in over 10 years. The upside? Cheap tickets! For $10 plus the price of parking you can get an evening of great entertainment at the beautiful Staples Center. My thoughts on the upcoming 2004-2005 season? "This is going to be the year for the Clippers!"
- One of the greatest ideas to ever emerge onto the internet. You can literally find just about anything you can think of on eBay. Easy to buy, easy to sell, addictive as Hell. One of the finest examples of capitalism in motion. Check it out.
Craigslist.com - Notice the lack of any sort of fancy icon? That's because Craigslist.com is a highly-informative, yet bare-boned website. Basically, it's a sort of virtual classified ad for various major cities. I use it all the time to look for jobs or things to do in Los Angeles. Find your own city, and see what it has to offer you.
- This is my brother's official website...He specializes in producing music...all different types of music. His style is impossible to define because he's changing it with every new song he creates. Just go there and check it out for yourself...I suggest downloading my personal favorite: "Whoa Buck" ...his take on the original Ledbelly song.
Revised: February 6, 2005.
Copyright © 1997 by Greg Bauer
All trademarks or product names mentioned herein are the property of their respective owners.
Page first constructed and released on 4/26/98